Infamously No One

Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Right on the edge of sending a FUCK YOU

I had a conversation today with someone who allegedly cared about me. A few of you know what happened this weekend. This person basically disappeared off the radar, was a little shady about it all, and honestly, I feel that I was being somehow held personally responsible for the drama that was laid in my lap.
I am mad as hell. Of course I said "If you run it won't hurt my feelings," but the longer I sit with it, the angrier I get. No, you don't know me well, but damn. Judge me because of the actions of someone else? Seriously? FUCK YOU!
I want a Viking. I will wait. In fact, I will sit by the river and wait. I will ready my mind and my body for the process.
Don't damn be shady with me, and expect a positive response. So here's how to deal with me:

1) Yield
2) Don't. If you have a single question about an action, don't.
3) Be fucking honest.
4) Have a little integrity in your dealings with me.
5) I have bad days. If I were perfect, I damn sure wouldn't be here.
6) If you're broken your damn self, show others a little fucking kindness.
7) Don't "act" like you give a shit.
8) If you run when I actually summon to courage to ask for something, don't count yourself ever to be on the 'in' of my life.
9) I will occasionally make stupid decisions. If you see it happening tell me as though I was walking around a ritzy party with broccoli in my teeth.
10) Let me ride my own shit. I am good at turning a bad day good quick.
11) Involve me, otherwise I don't know to care.
12) Leave your damn drama llama at home.
13) Don't ask me to take a risk on you, and then leave me hanging. You've cried wolf, and I will pay no further attention.

Rude. Sacurrittty?

Friday, May 20, 2011

Someone like you

I heard that you're settled down,
That you found a girl and you're married now,
I heard that your dreams came true,
Guess she gave you things I didn't give to you,
Old friend, why are you so shy?
Ain't like you to hold back or hide from the light,

I hate to turn up out of the blue uninvited,
But I couldn't stay away, I couldn't fight it,
I had hoped you'd see my face,
And that you'd be reminded that for me it isn't over,

Nevermind, I'll find someone like you,
I wish nothing but the best for you, too,
Don't forget me, I beg,
I remember you said,
"Sometimes it lasts in love,
But sometimes it hurts instead,"
Sometimes it lasts in love,
But sometimes it hurts instead, yeah,

You know how the time flies,
Only yesterday was the time of our lives,
We were born and raised in a summer haze,
Bound by the surprise of our glory days,

I hate to turn up out of the blue uninvited,
But I couldn't stay away, I couldn't fight it,
I had hoped you'd see my face,
And that you'd be reminded that for me it isn't over,

[ From: http://www.metrolyrics.com/someone-like-you-lyrics-adele.html ]

Nevermind, I'll find someone like you,
I wish nothing but the best for you, too,
Don't forget me, I beg,
I remember you said,
"Sometimes it lasts in love,
But sometimes it hurts instead,"

Nothing compares,
No worries or cares,
Regrets and mistakes, they're memories made,
Who would have known how bittersweet this would taste?

Nevermind, I'll find someone like you,
I wish nothing but the best for you,
Don't forget me, I beg,
I remember you said,
"Sometimes it lasts in love,
But sometimes it hurts instead,"

Nevermind, I'll find someone like you,
I wish nothing but the best for you, too,
Don't forget me, I beg,
I remember you said,
"Sometimes it lasts in love,
But sometimes it hurts instead,"
Sometimes it lasts in love,
But sometimes it hurts instead.
Adele

Saturday, May 7, 2011

I hate that quick reply. Is this how you really feel about me? If it is, I don't want you to do another fucking thing for me. Ever. If I struggle, I will struggle on my own. I will pay you the full rent, since you failed to mention that I am now paying the doubled phone bill, and you have pretty much held me responsible for all the animal care, and what little cleaning is done in the house except when something stinks or I am sleeping while you are in a manic rage. . When I get back, I will clean the whole mother fucker from top to bottom, and I will not be answering texts all fucking day so that I can actually get things done. After that, you are responsible for your laundry, the feeding and care of your animals, and the dishes you dirty, and half of the rest of the house. If I am paying half the rent+ your phone. I will not be doing all the cleaning and errand running. You have treated me like something you needed to manage, to keep busy, and as your little secretary doing shit for you all the time. No wonder you kept asking me if I was upset about your blog. Don't worry about taking "care" of me any more, go find yourself someone to fuck when you want, and do everything when you want, and to control, because that will never be me. If you want me to move, then I will move. I loved you, and you couldn't let up and allow me to love you my way, you have demanded that I love you YOUR way. I have the NEED to be respected as human, and as an adult, neither of which you give me. I will begin paying you back next month for the tires and the oil change, and every FUCKING cent of your inheritance that has been spent on me, maybe you SHOULD ask someone to go on your trip with you since you're holding that against me too. I didn't mean to advise you to not sit with the people getting out of prison.

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Beati i casari, perché erediteranno la terra.

I don’t know what this recent roller coaster is about, however, weird dreams about motorcycles and Goliath frogs, and turning around on a trip because of a storm is fairly evident. Well, duh.
There is a frog in my throat, I have been wanting, but unable physically, to ride my motorcycle, and yes, there is a storm brewing. Much like the evolution of Stilton Cheese, this contains much debate and conjecture.
There is so much on my mind, and no place to put it. I want to allow a flow here, but it is predominately about someone else, and I just can't do that at the moment. I wanted this blog to be more journal-like, and now, that someone is being a little creepy-stalky, I refuse to open the tin and allow a mozzarella to be born when I am waiting on an asiago.
I haven't been wanting to sleep at night. That seems to be the time when I can actually focus on the things that are important to me. I can put on a movie without argument. I don't have to worry about the phone ringing, or the glass-like ting of a text coming through. Everyone with good sense or in Asia is asleep. There is nothing going on on Facebook so I don't get distracted. This is my normal. For some, being up half the night is a preposterous thought. I thrive on it. My best, and favorite, sleeping hours are between 0700 and 1200, and again between 1500 and 1800. I am awake and functional the rest of the time. Of late, I have been using sleep to escape. I am in a funk of magnificent proportions, don't like the day to day of my life, and spend entirely too much time alone, and rarely just "shoot the shit' with anyone. Not that that is a bad thing, but my choices of things to do are somewhat limited. So I sit here, watching entirely too much TV, and I stew in a Castelo Blanco of unfathomable goat-yness. Acrid, musty, and vastly less favorable than a Santarem, which is best served fresh.